MADISON ART - SURVIVAL

I am Daniel Madison
This is SURVIVAL

After my first expression - PAINt - in 2024, after spending a life in the devotion to the deceptive arts, I knew that truth and honesty was the only way to release this feeling.  With little interest in ‘pictures’ and with my language and speech challenges, I felt the need to create Art using words, especially those which I needed to, but could never say out loud.

During a challenging time I decided that my time was up and the only solution to the Madness was to leave.  But something took me to the canvas, to leave a final expression.  I put the music on, I meditated on nothing and what came out, hit the surface - white paint on a white canvas, a discovery in real time that I make Art so that I don’t have to kill myself.

When the paint dried, I experienced an awakening, a vessel for the release of this Madness that took the weight off, an act that allowed me to be fully present, open, honest, vulnerable, and above all else, it made me want to stay, so that I could do it again, and again.  However, with time as my enemy, I have only found myself making a return to the canvas in desperation rather than choice.

After creating the first layer of this piece I was too insecure to share this vulnerability and honesty with anybody.  So I lent the canvas, back against the wall, and kept away from it.  My insecurity, and fear of being seen led me to the second layer, through a moment of desperation towards the end of 2025.

My passion had become a job, my love for it long perished the depression had taken over and no matter how hard I tried, I could not put my heart into anything.  On a very bad day, the thought of leaving returned, and it took so much weight with it.  I became aware of the Madness and became reminded of the Art that saved me from this just a year ago.  I went back to that same piece, still as insecure, but this time allowing the honesty of insecurity to take over.

In the film, you will see this moment.  I dropped everything and decided to film the second layer…  Hiding the truth behind black paint, hoping that it would end up fully covered, so that I knew the message, the reason for staying would still be there, behind the black paint, but with my insecurity I could hide it from the world - a secret message, hidden in the open.  But, when the paint dried, the message remained in the shape of its original form, with the paint raised from the canvas.  Once again, I put the painting away, but the same release, the same relief had found me - the act of creating alone had made me want to survive, so that I could one day soon do it all over again.  That day came sooner than I planned for.

This became the catalyst for my decision to leave Magic and Sleight-of-Hand to go into a world of Art with full force, insecurities and all.  But after my announcement I was reminded of my past passion for Cards and Sleight-of-Hand, and how it becoming a ‘job’ had led me to the ledge in the first place.  So I backed down, and returned to cards.

Art is still very much a part of my life, just not publicly.  I could argue that it is the most important parts, if not the only thing that brings me down from the right side of the ledge every time.  Perhaps if not for spending so many times at the ledge I wouldn’t even be able to bring anything back down with to create.  It, like everything else in my life, is mostly unknown.  Just like everybody else, I am surviving in  my own strange way.

This piece is called SURVIVAL, and I’m ready to say goodbye to it, to make way for my next visit to the ledge.

Mad Love  🖖🤚